No matter who is reading your script - story analyst, agent, executive, or producer - you want to hook them from page one. They, on the other hand, are looking for a reason to stop reading. Here are seven ways to show your next reader that you know the rules of the game and to keep them reading.
There is a theory that a woman knows whether she will become intimate with a man within the first five minutes of meeting him. The same thing can be said with script readers and the screenplays they critique. Within the first five pages, they know whether they're going to like your script or not. And if they are not into your work by that point, it is incredibly difficult to turn them around, no matter what you have later in the script. You end up going home alone - again.
But wait, don't most readers only pass judgment after they get to the act one break? Well, yes, because they have to write the coverage that they are being paid to write, and in fact, they have to read your whole script to do so. But agents, managers, executives, assistants, and screenwriting-contest programmers are readers, too, and they are not bound by any obligation to get to FADE OUT.
Below are seven things to consider while writing your script to improve your courtship of the script reader. These are not love potions, but they may make you turn a few heads. And, of course, like any romance, you must be present, charming, and attentive all the way through the relationship to make it last.
- Set the world
A lover who doesn't know where they stand is an unhappy person and a fight is on the horizon. The same goes for your script. Let the reader know the story's locale, time (year or period in history), and genre so they know what to expect. If this is a sports drama, show the sport and what the overall situation with the team is. If you're writing science fiction, aliens or the like better show up quickly, and you should let the reader know if the creatures are humanity's friend or foe. If you're writing a slice of life, character piece, or experimental work, then the themes should come in right away, be it abuse, alcoholism, or fear of loneliness. Also, it is good to know the scope of the world. Is this going to be a small, insular story dealing with first love in rural America or are asteroids hurtling toward Earth with the fate of all life hanging in the balance?
- Set the tone
Much the same way as it's important to know whether your lover gets turned on by chocolates or rock climbing, know your tone and show it on page one. If you are writing a comedy, jokes and funny situations should be coming fast and furious. If it's horror, then you better be scaring people (or at least setting an eerie tone). And your characters need to match your tone, for the most part. It's okay to mix tones like horror and comedy, (see SHAUN OF THE DEAD), but you must balance them carefully - too many studio executives get confused by mixed-genre scripts.
- Do not overwrite
Ever been on a date and the person sitting opposite will not stop talking? Especially when it isn't anything interesting or relevant? Readers want to get through your script quickly; they have a pile of other scripts sitting under yours, all due today. Scripts that have long blocks of description and meandering dialogue make readers roll their eyes and prime the "pass" stamp, so let's move things along, shall we? Getting rid of extraneous adjectives and adverbs in the action lines helps - they won't appear onscreen and they really bog down a read. A simple trick to discover where you can trim words, lines, or scenes: read your script out loud and listen for the flow. Have some friends listen - you'll need the objectivity.
- Get into the story quickly
There's nothing worse than those awkward moments of hemming and hawing at the beginning of a date. Sometimes it's cute, but for the most part, you end up looking at your watch. By the end of page five, and generally much sooner, your story's plot should be unfolding - and you should easily be able to do this without compromising our first point above. Think of any James Bond film you've seen: 007 does some really cool spy stuff in the first five minutes, which sets the world but also ties into the story following the theme music. So steal that bomb, win that lottery, or break someone's heart (or leg) by page five, and the reader will want to keep flicking pages.
- Do not go for the cliche ...
Oh, we're going for dinner and a movie - again. Script readers read an average of ten to fifteen scripts a week, which can add up to almost 800 screenplays a year. And readers usually hold their jobs for many years. Chances are, they have read every genre, several versions of the same story several times - and probably at least one story similar to yours. They are tired and jaded - so shake them up! If you are writing a horror script and you need a scare moment in the first five pages to set the world and tone and to get the story going, invert expectations. Instead of a dark warehouse, make it a brightly lit kindergarten.
If you're writing a romance, have someone do something wildly romantic in order to get the attention of the person they love. You can even set up your protagonist's great triumph, then have him/her lose almost everything (such as in JERRY MAGUIRE). The danger here is to make sure that you are not being gratuitous; if you can keep it contained, then you can make an impact.
- Spice up your words and style
A little - and I mean a little - cologne never hurt anyone. Neither did dressing well. This one is a little more subjective than the others because clearly every reader's taste is different. Still, most of them want to read something that is either fun or has a little bit of pizzazz. Try these little tricks:
Onomatopoeia - Instead of writing that construction workers use hammers, try something like "BANG, BANG, BANG. Workers pound nails into wood." Play with the words themselves in order to create emotion or mood. For example, "a long scraping noise" becomes "SCRAAAAPE!". Or a blaring horn is "HOOOOOONK."
Italicizing verbs or dynamic moments: in action lines, these can help make things stand out, as can underlining or bolding dialogue that needs stressing. But try not to overdo them; as with cologne, a little goes a long way. - Different sentence structures: short, staccato sentences. Create tension. And get action moving. You can also use long, complex sentences to do just the opposite. You can really lull a reader into a false sense of security and then shock them with this technique. Sharp, witty, or unusual dialogue works well, too, as long as it doesn't feel forced.
- Introduce your main character
There's fashionably late for a date in order to keep the allure going, and then there's "Where the $#%& are they?". Nothing squelches romance faster than if your date thinks you're ditching them, so get that detective/love interest/sports hero/alcoholic cross-dresser protagonist on the page as soon as possible. There are very few situations where you would not want to meet your main character within the first five pages. One would be if it is an ensemble story where everyone is generally equal, but you still need to meet someone important in the first few pages.
Another would involve doing something to set the tone, story, or theme in an unusual way; think of SCREAM, where Drew Barrymore's opening scene goes for almost fifteen minutes before Neve Campbell appears. Here, scripter Kevin Williamson was breaking one rule in order to set up the others. But he still sets up the world (suburbia) and the tone (horror), avoids cliche in a clever way (kills the best-known actress in the film early), gets into the story quickly, and uses modern teenage (but not over-written) dialogue and the deconstruction of a horror film opening as the style.